credit to : Jaehyun
Lovely Past x


yeap,last year
the day which changed a girl's whole life and perspective
giving her a big impact in and out
i'm amazed.
she was a plain girl before,a 14 year old who knows nothing about. . . . .LOVE
she never dreamt about her prince charming,ever
she thought she's too ugly to even being noticed,liked and loved by anyone
no,she's not seeking for any attention 
it's just her being honest
but then she knew him,a 16 year old guy in school
a senior,you see
he's amazing and lovely and adored by many
deep feelings? towards him? not really
even if she had,she knew there wasn't going to be any chance for her
so she decided to just simply get to know him
without even had a hint on what's going to happen afterwards
she started to chat with him on facebook
she treated him just like a friend,not more not less
surprisingly,she's not the one who's getting eager but he's the one
can you see how things going backwards?
he started to ask "have you eaten?" and stuffs
he cared a little
and guess what? she avoid it,he annoyed her
poor girl.she didn't know
she bumped into him everyday at school,during her choral speaking practice
it's like it was meant to be
she thought he didn't recognize her in school but he did
and he said on facebook "you're in the choral speaking team,are you?"
she was really shocked,realizing he actually cared until he's able to recognise her face out of the cyber life?!
she realize,she's falling
she didn't know how hard it was but she will
he said again "i wanna watch you tomorrow,i'll come earlier for my kompang practice"
she said "watch me? nooooooo,please don't! you don't have to! don't come!"
him, "i want to come,ok i gtg bye"
that was it
what caught her heart,her feelings,her soul and everything
he really wanted to watch her on stage
she screamed,loudly
and called her bestfriend "my crush wanted to come during the choral speaking practice!!"
and screamed again like a retard,alone in her room,then smiling like an idiot
i can almost feel her
the next morning, "i'm sure he'll not come,he'll probably forgot about last night"
evening,bestfriend "i saw him with his ex! they're back together again?"
at this moment,she knew he wouldn't come
but guess what? he did!
he sat on the chair at the drama team
searching for her among 32 choral speaking members
he watched her
that moment was insane,she forgot her scripts and her movements was messy
her hands felt cold,shaking all of the sudden
he kept watching her from the corner of the school hall
he started to give hopes,don't you think so?
back then he said "i saw you most of the time,i wanna talk with you but i'm shy"
he wanted to talk with her,seriously what was that?
there's a day when she's at the school cafeteria with her bestfriend. "facebooking"
and y'know what,he came and sat in front of her
she act normally,keeping her excitement behind
he was talking to another senior but he couldn't keep his focus really well
his eyes. . . .was actually on her
one day,she stayed back at school until 5pm because her bestfriend asked her to
they both walked from the school hall to the cafeteria
feeling really tired,she decided to wait for her mother to pick her up at the canteen
then she saw him coming towards. . . . . .HER!
she was half dead,and her nerves started growling
he called her name *with a huge smile* "why are you still here? it's late"
she answered calmly, "oh i'm waiting for my mum"
the way he called her name was beyond perfect
NO ONE i repeat NO ONE could made it sounds any better
then he sat beside her
imagine how she felt. . .
however he didn't look up,he looked down on the floor the whole time
she knew he was shy
he'd finally overcome his shyness to talk to her because he wanted to
she asked "so how was your competition yesterday? you guys won?" him, *shaked his head* "no,we didn't" and smiled
she respond "uhm,we're same"
"oh i gtg,bye" *waved his hands and smiled again*
he wore a red shirt,looking so charming
it was a really really short conversation since it was late and he'd to walk home with his friends
she felt like screaming as soon as got into the car
she couldn't belive what had just happened,so did her bestfriend
it was as if she's living in a somekind of fairytale
it's like a prince charming just talked to her,smiled and waved hands?
wtf was that,really it was overwhelming but in a good way
it's like a dream came true
it happened over and over again and when it stopped y'know what happened
they became closed in reality,in facebook
as he came watching her in the practice,she did the same
watching him in his
when she walked pass the hall,and he saw her
he turned his back,his head and watch her walked away
no,seriously i've seen this
they used to chat a lot in facebook
"so you've changed your hair huh?" "erm yeah,how was it? was it funny?" "haha no worries,it looks just fine to me"
there's a day when they're having a conversation late at night
him, "ok i wanna off,wanna sleep early tonight so that i can wake up early for school tomorrow. btw,nice conversation we had"
"yeah ok sure bye" "goodnight sweetie" he called her sweetie!! she died a little
'lol ok goodnight" " :) :D ;) B)" "haha you really should offline right now"
"hehe tata dada bye ^^"
she's madly in love with this conversation
but after everything,the uninvited part came creeping in
he's suddenly get into a relationship with her FRIEND
after all he'd done,all those hopes he'd given
that was what she received in reply?
she never thought that is going to happen
if he didn't like her,then what on earth was everything?
what was that? no one would ever did such things and put so much effort on without a reason or intention
she tried to be strong,keep smiling like nothing just happened
you think that was easy? no it didn't. it was the hardest thing a girl could ever did
but she had to
that wasn't what she anticipating for,but it happened
she strived so hard,keep living her life normally
but she's dying inside
the only thing he should know was
but let me tell you something,she NEVER regrets
she's thankful for what've done instead
now,she learnt something about love,experienced something
lesson learnt was never expect to much and do not set up your hopes too high
you may hurt yorself and this KILLS
moreover,everything happens for a reason
but we just couldn't figure out why
and i witness everything
yknow why? because,that girl is ME
i will not waste my time over him like i've been doing for the past 2years anymore
thanks a lot and farewell with your new life since your senior year is over
thanks for what you've done,i appreciate that so much even if you'd hurt me for like a thousand times but it's worth it i guess
god bless me,i had some great memories to be remembered with my crush
my friends don't
well,i write this is because idk,i feel like it started to fade day by day
i'll try to move on and will keep these little memories as long as i'm still breathing
i can't write any longer
goodbye my lovely past (: xoxo